In 2004, I found myself at a crossroads in my political life – I chose not to vote. Four years earlier, I had been one of the lucky few at my high school who was old enough to vote, and like any good conservative suburbanite, used my right to cast for George W. Bush – and for what would become his first term in office. I was voting my parent’s politics, I was voting the politics of my friends, I was voting (I thought) the politics of my Christian faith.
The four years which marked George Bush’s first term were formative ones, not only for me personally, but also for our comparatively adolescent nation. 9/11 changed the world, not for the world, but rather in American vision, bringing the pain of war torn creation into our very backyards, and the uncertainty of that world missiling through the bubble of American physical, ideological, and financial security. One of the strongest towers that was toppled was that of our exclusivity. For a moment, we were open and vulnerable and hurt, and the rest of the world was able to see us, not as the privileged elite, but as sibling humanity.
As the war dragged on and confusion grew as to its justification, so did my discontent at having felt some minute responsibility in this form of retaliation. It was in the response of the nation in which American exclusivity was swiftly and powerfully reconstructed. While all nations deal with terror and violence, not many are able to produce shock and awe, those Godlike tools of destruction within another nation of its choosing, and at its complete and utter autonomy.
I remember my freshman year at Bethel University when the war was just beginning, how powerfully I began to lose my faith in what we had become involved in. We had chapel on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and every chapel morning, twice a week for months (perhaps even the whole year, I can’t remember for sure), there was a simple candlelight vigil. No shouting, no bright colored signs, not even so much as a whisper from one group member to another. Just people holding a lighted candle each, and one of them at the center, a kindly old philosophy professor with a small sign made of torn notebook paper and held out in one of his hands which said simply: “pray for peace”.
The first time I saw them, I was walking to chapel with a friend who remarked, “that’s crazy, don’t they realize we’re under attack?” I think I replied with something like, “and anyway, what good is it going to do to stand around the chapel of a conservative Christian college?” Over the following months, however, things in Iraq continued to fall apart, but the constancy and persistence of that little silent vigil, began to look very poignant to me, and my view of the protestors changed. Looking back, I wish I could say that I stood there with them one day, but I never did.
Somewhere in that time frame, there came the famous toppling of Sadaam Hussein’s statue. I didn’t have class that day, so I was able to watch the entire process as it unfolded live on CNN. I remember my roommate cheering and hollering. I sat in a slightly awestruck state. Anyone watching at the time will remember an American soldier, as the statue is still being brought down, climbing to the head of it and placing an American flag over its face. Moments later, a call comes in – that’s not the way the story’s supposed to go. The American’s help the Iraqi’s to remove the flag, and to put up one of their own. Maybe that’s when all of these uncertainties hit me most concretely – when I realized that we weren’t just broadcasting history here, we were producing it, and packaging it, like producers in Hollywood do with movie scripts. This is a lot of power.
As I think about why that American soldier wanted to put his nation’s flag on the face of that fallen dictator, I think that it has to do with a very powerful theme that is recurrent in our culture. It is because America is a place that loves a good usurpation. Our country was founded on the idea of the rebel, taking power into their own hands to enact what they believe is right, and by so doing, taking their autonomy, their freedom from the clutches of malevolent control. Submission is not something the American spirit is big on. Revolution is how our nation began, it is resplendent within our storytelling, our sportsmanship, our economy, and it is the very definition of our political construction and process. We even have a little revolution every four years we call an election, and even if this doesn’t succeed in axing the dynasty after a short amount of time, we have controls in place to boot them after the maximum term, to ensure that somebody else gets a try.
This all seems really good to me at first, until it becomes difficult for me to separate different elements within the grand story of power. I can’t separate the power which conquered the British and the South, from the power which slaughtered Indians for the land we enjoy or Nigerians for the oil they live above. I can’t separate the revolutionary’s rifle from the WMD from the voting booth. And the reason I can’t do that is because they all seem to support in small or large ways, the same narrative: blessed is he who conquers.
In the introduction to American Cultural Studies, Neil Campbell and Alasdair Kean argue that one of the reasons it is so difficult to talk about a “coherent national narrative” is because the national mindset has been so defined not by unity, but by partisanship and competition. They write, “Americans, it is argued, are in the end divided as much as they are united. Where unity is apparent, this is only possible because difference has been hidden by the practice of power.” This, however, is precisely the point. The ruling ethos, is the American ethos. It is a strongly rooted and desparately clinged-to ideal that the majority rules. How do we enact Epluribus Unum? The answer is by force.
I have to ask myself as a person called to live as a citizen of the Kingdom of God, and not as a citizen of the kingdom of the United States of America, whether this type of narrative is consistent with the subversive rules of the land of my true kinship. I look at the submission of Jesus. I look at what lengths he was willing to go to in order to serve as opposed to correct. I look at his healing admonitions to the people he meets, and I think it tends to look a lot more like those silent, solemn faces in that seminary chapel, than the stern self righteous ones I saw on TV last night. I think it tends to look a lot more like the soft light of a candle which draws us in, rather than a sharp pointing finger seeking to divide.
In Jesus for President, Shaine Claiborne mentions briefly his trip to Iraq during the height of the war in 2003. It is an episode in his life which is recounted with much more detail in his other book Irresistible Revolution, but I like what he writes about it, here in President. Perhaps the brevity of the account forces him to distill the major theme of what that trip meant for him. He says, “we prayed that once again mothers would set up camp beside the bodies of their dead and wail so loudly that word of the travesty would spread throughout the earth. Maybe people from around the world would hear and come out with them on the rock beside the bodies. And we would groan together so loudly that even the kings would hear.” Shane Claiborne and his friends went to Iraq to align themselves with those who mourn. He did so, I think because He though this is what Jesus would be doing. Afterall, this is the same Jesus who said, “Blessed are those who mourn.” How foolish this narrative seems in the kingdom of America, and yet it is the very foundation of the kingdom of which Christ-followers are truly a part.
I think about what I’m aligning myself with when I step into a voting booth. I think about the autonomy I affirm when I close the curtain behind me. I think of the power I’m picking up, when I raise that little pencil to write my voice on the ballot. I think about these things, and it becomes very difficult for me to make a mark.
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