Her Role

So much of the hype about the election has been about the first black first family entering the White House.  What more often going under the radar at this point is the significance gender still has in this race.

And, no, not Hilary Clinton’s or Sarah Palin’s.  Michelle Obama’s.

Her sex doesn’t come as a surprise, of course.  While we didn’t necessarily expect a female president or vice president, we probably expected a female first lady.  What’s significant, I think is how sees herself and lives in a role that I think is quite unique in the American experience.

I feel I have nothing in common with the majority of first ladies.  Even more recent first ladies like Laura Bush make me squirm.  I just can’t ever imagine being… that.  In the Obama’s words, she’s “very gracious,” and I think most Americans think more highly of her than her husband, at least.  However, in my mind, she plays a very stereotypical female role in her family and our society.  (I say this from my impressions–I am not a Laura Bush expert by any means!)  And while that might or might not be her calling…  it’s just not mine.

There have certainly been high-power women in the White House before, most recently, we think of Hilary Clinton.  I think many Americans are afraid of Hilary because she’s a strong woman–and many people can’t process that concept without inferring that she must a bitch.  Even those of us that don’t want to be sexist often fall into such tendencies.

Michelle Obama, I think, is a woman almost everyone can find themselves in.  She’s not frighteningly aggressive or overtly feminist (though I’m not saying that would be a bad thing), and in fact, her top priority in the White House will be to be “Mom in Chief.”  There are lots of women that can relate to that.  And there are others of us that may or may not want kids but see her intelligence and achievements, the fact that she’s a professional, and we can relate to that.  The most magnificent thing about Michelle, though, is that she pulls it off so easily.  I’m sure day-in-day out the balancing act of career vs. family is not always easy, but she makes it seem like a natural act to try–as natural as it is for any man to keep a job while raising kids.

As Neil Campbell and Alasdair Kean describe the history of gender in the United States, sometimes I feel we haven’t really moved that far.  I think we’re still battling inside over whether or not to keep gender roles and to what extent (ex: I was surprised the other day when a friend suggested specifically that we ask “a man” for help with something broken in our house), we still criticize women that spend too much time working (while we more rarely criticize men), and girls growing up still don’t have that many role models of alternatives to being mothers, teachers, or nurses (or at least, I didn’t).

However, I have hope that Obama as first lady may subtly move us forward.  Some of us often forget the important role the black community and black women have had on our approach to gender.  But many times black women were more attuned to sexism because they understood how injustice worked, overtly as well as covertly.  It was HBCUs that first offered co-educational experiences for men and women, as the black community was so determined to take hold of every opportunity they could.  It is black churches where fewer people bother themselves with arguments about epistles and simply let women preach.  And it’s black families where most women had to work long before white women wanted to, simply to make ends meet.  Due to all of these factors–both choices by the black community and the things done simply to survive–I think black women have always played an important role in changing women’s status in America.

And so I’m excited.  While I think America is generally afraid of black women, but Michelle is so sweet and sophisticated that I have no doubt that she will win most of our hearts.  And while some may accept her simply as a “nice first lady,” those of us looking for more–looking for a woman unboxed that we can emulate–I think she is an answer to prayer.

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Tags: African-American, black, feminism, gender, Michelle Obama, Politics, roles, Women

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